Today was probably the most difficult day I have ever had to experience as a teacher. I knew, before I left the house, that today would be hard, but I wasn't quite prepared to tell 100 students that "it would be Ok."
Johana was a true blessing to her sixth grade peers. It was evident today that not only will she be deeply missed, but that she has left a very inspiring legacy that will live on in the hearts, minds, and memories of her friends and family members.
Today was an example of a time in life when even adults don't know exactly what to do. I have only really experienced this one other time in my life--September 11, 2001. Unlike 9/11, today we didn't know what to do because we are all in shock that someone so young and talented would be taken away from us.
Whenever I don't know how to handle something, I usually look for advice. That advice, more often than not, comes from my favorite author, C.S. Lewis.
Lewis knew grief all too well. His wife died and left him extremely broken. In dealing with his pain, he began to write about the loss in his books--these passages would soon become some of the most inspirational writings of the 20th Century.
One of the elements of grief that Lewis mentions is how fear often accompanies our pain. He said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." I saw fear in my students' eyes today. Fear of the unknown. Fear for Johana's parents. Fear of death itself.
While I can't say that I am completely without fear, I can say that I am consoled by the overwhelming support I saw from the PCMS family today. Ms. Kubos was doing what she does best--being a mother to everyone. The eighth grade students were filling their role as the big brothers and sisters of the campus. And, the seventh graders rallied together to grief as one. It was truly beautiful in an otherwise terrible situation.
As I end this post, my prayers go out to Johana's family and friends. I am deeply saddened by the tragic events and pray that God's comfort and support would be with her family in these difficult times.
Blittle
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ReplyDeleteI really don't know what to say. Who would in these types of situations? I'm just going to write what comes at the top of my head. Johana wasn't my best friend or anything like that, but I am glad I got to talk to her the few times I did. What I perfectly remember is the smile on her face and the laugh she had of her silly mistakes in baseball. PCMS will never stop being a family and even though some students like me have moved onto High School, our hearts will always have a part that will always belong to Chrysalis. My condolences are with her family, friends, teachers, and anyone that got to meet this child who is now with God. I know that she is glad as well as I am that we will always be with one another working together just like the PCMS family has done all the time. These situations hardly happen, but when they do, the fear we have inside is shown no matter what. I may not have known Johana a lot, but I still fear, but that fear is also part of what every human will once experience. She won't be with us physically, but she'll never leave our heart.
ReplyDeleteJParra
Well put, Juanita. Thank you for your condolences. You hit it on the nose--Chrysalis is a special place in that it breeds a strong family connection. It doesn't matter how well people knew Johana, she was a part of the family--and will be sorely missed.
ReplyDeleteSee, see! This is what I try to tell people all the time & if they aren't a part of the Chrysalis family, they just don't get it! I run around acting like some kind of Momma Chrysalis thinking that I'm going to save the day, like moms do & EVERY time, some UNBELIEVABLE student, like juanita, or Johana, or all the rest come up with words of wisdom & actions of giants that teach me far more than a thing or two!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, what an honor to be a part of the Chrysalis family! I truly feel sorry for those who don't have or take that chance. I don't think that any of us, teachers or students, would trade the pain of the last few days for the honor of being a part of this family.
Juanita, I wish you all had the chance to know Johana a little better, but then, you do because she was a lot like you. Yes, I know that you are both beautifully unique individuals, just saying. She looked up to you all & admired you in so many ways. Thanks for keeping her in your thoughts & prayers.